Bus Driver Stories

When is a Shart …?

They really should pay me more.

Warning: this post may have depictions some find offensive, or hilarious. I guess it depends on which side of the fence you sit on.

Last week was the beginning of the summer thunderstorm season. It means heavy rain every afternoon; typical summer weather for central Florida.

Most drivers are like me regarding passengers. If you, the passenger, are not at the stop when I get there, you’ve missed the bus. If you, the passenger, are running as fast as you can but still have a hundred yards to go, you’ve missed the bus. You, the passenger, might not think this is fair, but you aren’t the driver, I am, and I have a schedule to keep.

Still, I’m not completely heartless. It was raining hard, I was a little ahead of schedule, and there was a passenger running for the bus. If someone is within say, 100 feet of the bus stop (approximately three bus lengths), I’ll usually wait, even if it isn’t raining, as long as they run. If they see that I’m waiting and they stop running, I leave. Next time they won’t stop running. The guy I was about to pick up, kept running.

Finally, he gets on the bus, and sure as shit, he’s short on the fare, but it’s raining, and I let him ride.

About halfway to his destination, he comes to the front of the bus and asks me if I have a paper towel or some tissues. Normally, I don’t have tissues, but I do have a full roll of paper towels. Passengers find it nearly impossible to hold on to their stuff while riding the bus, especially if it can spill. But I was all out of paper towels, and I didn’t have time to stop and get another roll from the storage box behind my seat.

I did have some extra Biden masks. In the Free State of Florida, passengers have been riding the bus without masks for many months. So I asked him if he could use a mask instead. He took three and thanked me.

I think Biden Sharted.

As I pulled up to his stop, the passenger came to the front of the bus again and asked me a bizarre question. “Sir. Do you know what a ‘Shart’ is?”

I was taken aback just a little but I answered truthfully. “Yes.” For those of you who don’t know, a ‘Shart’ is the combination of a fart and a shit.

“Well, while I was running for the bus, I sharted myself. I’m going to go behind those bushes and clean up. Could I have a few more masks?”

“Sure.” At this point, I’m still keeping a relatively straight face even though inside, I was laughing.

He took six.

The passenger now had a grand total of nine Biden masks and I said, “That must have been one hell of a shart.”

He leaned in and looked me straight in the eye. “I feel it trickling down my ass crack.”

Fortunately, the bus was stopped because this is where I lost it.

As he got off the bus the passenger shouted, “Stop laughing. It’s not funny,”

“Yes it is, (gasping for breath), it’s hilarious.”

“No, it’s not!”

He was only pretending to be upset because I could see him smiling as he ran for the bushes.

It took a minute or two for me to gain my composure. Then, I drove off, leaving my passenger to his own devices.

PS – Now you know how we use Biden masks in the Free State of Florida. Go DeSantis.

This Guy Biden, They Call Him Potus

It didn’t take long for me to find something else Joe forgot.

First, it was his foot. https://davydsblog.wordpress.com/2022/06/18/oops/

Now, this:

June 6, 2022

Do you know what happened on June 6, 2022, at 2:00 a.m. in France? In accordance with his specific instruction, President Macron was intentionally woken up from a night of deep sleep to do something he thought was imperative.

Do you know what Joe Biden did at the very same time? Nothing. Like all crucial activities regarding world affairs, the man they call Potus, left the important work for others to do.

What am I talking about? I’m referring to the basic qualities of leadership, like having the desire (and presence of mind) to acknowledge the heroism of all who took part in the D-Day invasion on June 6, 1944. It was an earthshaking event that altered the course of history for the betterment of all mankind; an event that cost so much … and means so little to our current president (not very presidential).

Uh…. Uh…. You know that thing, not the one people believe in. You know, the germ thing.

WATCH: Joe Biden Appears to Forget the Name of the Coronavirus – Stillness in the Storm

Joe Biden had no idea that this past June 6, was the 78th anniversary of D-Day until he was reminded by Republican Rep. Kat Cammack at 7:00 p.m. It took two more hours before he responded.

Biden Forgets to Acknowledge 78th Anniversary of D-Day, Remembers at 9 pm · The Floridian (floridianpress.com)

By now, we all know that Joe isn’t running things, but this is just embarrassing. How did his advisors, the people really in charge of this (cluster-fu—administration), let it slip by? I mean, the optic here is awful, and we know that O’Biden is all about the optics.

If there was any assumption of competency regarding this administration, this surely dispels the notion. But wait, it gets worse. This isn’t the first time it happened. Joe forgot last year too, and because nobody reminded him, he didn’t even get out a last-minute tweet.

Biden ripped for D-Day ‘after-thought’ hours late: ‘Unconscionable’ | Fox News

US President Joe Biden makes his way to board Air Force One before departing from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland on June 1, 2021. – President Biden is heading to Tulsa, Oklahoma on the centenary of the Tulsa Race Massacre. (Photo by MANDEL NGAN / AFP) (Photo by MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty Images)… notice the date… he remembers race but not heroes.

This man is no president; he’s a fraud, The Commander in Cheat!


Biden fell again.

Just a short post about something with more significance than you might imagine.

I just saw the video of Joe Biden recently falling off his bike. He was riding with a group that was coming to a stop, and he came to a stop as well. Up to that point, everything was going perfectly. But this is Joe we’re talking about and sure enough, he fell short (pun intended). He did everything right except for one crucial step; he forgot to put his foot out.

Every kid knows that when you stop a bike, you put your foot out to steady it until you’re ready to start riding again. It’s true of bicycles and motorcycles too. It’s one of those obvious things we all take for granted, except for Joe.

It makes you wonder what else he’s forgotten …

US President Joe Biden falls off his bicycle as he approaches well-wishers following a bike ride at Gordon’s Pond State Park in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, on June 18, 2022.Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images